THE TRIALECTICS OF MAN AND WOMAN

By Professor  Dr. Tan Man-Ho

(An excerpt from the original work, Real World Views, Book 13 by Professor  Dr. Tan Man-Ho entitled "Principles of the Logico-Psychophilosophical Methods in its Application to Problems of the Real World",  March  1982 ~ September 1983 Discourses, Chapter 2, Section C: "The Trialectics of Man and Woman", pp. 55~60)

C.   THE TRIALECTICS OF MAN AND WOMAN

1   This trialectics did not begin until the first separation of a biocosmic octave known as being-human has occurred with a distinct separation of the two opposite sex.  The socializing notes of this octave constitute a process of trialectics culminating in the phenomenon known as the family which is a stable gravity-center vibration forming a social organism and which destabilizes because of the perpetual unbecoming of this trialectics between man and woo-man.

2   When a woman has affected your kama, i.e. arouse your kama, she will be very beautiful in your eyes, even though she is immoral, bad temper, evil, etc.  And man falls into her trap because of this.  The other way round is also true!

3   Try to play with the fire of love and you will do destroyed by the fire of hate.  In fact in any love matter it would be better to culture feelings last.

4   It would be a mistake to assume that because you are divorced you can accept any woman who comes along.  This is a grave mistake.  A wrong pairing will give still greater trouble in the future.

5   The attraction of mates is a fairly definite and unchangeable one.  If there is attraction, a small effort is able to bring the two together otherwise a great effort would produce no result.

6   Here in the virgin forest, there is a fairy - the physical body and the psyche behind it in concur.  But the fairy is given the duty to protect the virgin forest.  If she is wise and capable, she protects it properly, otherwise something damaging might occur to the forest.  A wise fairy protects its virgin forest well and she is not deceived by ghosts.  Neither the very conservative fairies nor the very liberal ones are wise.

If you have taken the fairy, you have the virgin forest.  But if the fairy is conscious that her virgin forest is such a beautiful garden, she will treasure it and prevents it from being ruined by irresponsible seed-sowers.  This is woman-nature.

7   Those who have forgotten their virgin forests, have occupied most of their lives slavishly chasing after things of the outer world.  They do not spend an hour on the perfection of their own being.

8   Accepting a being-of-the-opposite sex by subjective infatuation and emotional identification is not the same as accepting from objective consideration.

9   Hiding behind the marriage contract, is an endless friction of unconscionable conflicts - and there have been people who play such games, and there shall be laws to counter these invisible unconscionable victimization.

10   If you are to take a life-partner you are to take a sincere and honest one and who is your heart-to-heart partner.  Accept a life partner from objective measures, not from your own subjective attachment.  Weigh the soundness of the whole relationship including the specific connections.

11   It is essential to know whether we ourselves are kamic objects ( both for man and woman ) because you hold the key to kamic attraction and also the source of other people's suffering if you are the arousal and yet do satisfy the needs of others.  Devil is he who uses the kamic attraction for a bad motive (for money, for enslavement, for revenge, etc.)

12   Kama unity in a life-partner is insufficient.  The moral character of the person, the amount of knowledge and inner development a person has are often the controlling factor when kama is not present.  If the person is an animal, then life will surely take on a different direction.

13   A woman who is a kamic object often falls into the trap of the wicked man if she is not guided by correct knowledge and morality.  Kamic man and woman are often the objects of kamic attraction.  However, many men are cautious of kamic woman because she is the object of public demand and would not be suitable for maintaining a stable gravity-center vibration family.  But this need not be so if the kamic person has good set of relevant goals.

If you possess a beautiful kamic object, you have to labor hard to guard the object from being stolen by someone else.  A beautiful kamic woman often takes on an ugly husband for reason of control and security.  An ugly woman taking a handsome and wealthy husband is a mystery unless she has the art.  The husband prefers such a woman in exchange for a relief of the heartache of keeping a very beautiful woman in exchange for a possible future inferiority complex.  Many women avoid a handsome and wealthy husband often out of this consideration that it is troublesome to guard such a husband.

If you are in possession of a kamic object, you must study the degree of development of the mental and moral faculties of such an object.

Perfect man is kamic and possesses wisdom, and he is often attracted and rejected by the opposite sex, because of fear or some other reasons.

A praiseworthy man is kamic, but this is only mere-talk-only. Chasing after kamic objects, one after another, not governed by morality and wisdom is a sign of the unstable character.  Such a person needs not be kamic himself.  He can be successful because for the kama gained he becomes an attached slave towards that object, a slave in disguise useful for a woman.

Whether kamic or not a person is, kind and compassionate treatment of each other intrinsically is, is really essential to the well-being of the family.

14   A righteous man who seeks for a wife comes into contact with one, under her kama imprisonment and noticing that she uses it for her own gain, to get pleasure, wealth and property should abandon her at once.  And why?  Because she is a courtesan.  A righteous wife uses the 28 principles in small quantity to test the attachment of the man to her and not to abuse it.

If a woman marries, for love, it is natural; if she marries for wealth, it is artificial.

15   True indeed is the person who is under the spell of another's kama.  Righteous indeed is the kamic woman who does not abuse it and who instead uses it to attach the man to her.

16   The extension of man and woman is the child, the third neutralizing force in the trialectics of man and woman.  It is the organic unity of Yin and Yang in the world of organic humanity.

17   If you are urgent to have a being of the opposite sex, you will easily become a slave towards her or him.  Only a natural method works smoothly.

18   Colors, perfumes, cosmetics and shapes are the influencers of kama and a harmonious combination of these substances can produce a profound effects on the kama of man.

19   The abuse of love feelings of another towards you will lead to bad karma.  This kama-feeling planet is part of the psycho-planet formation of our own evolution.  We should develop it as well as negate it.  Your passenger can either listen to its needs or ignore it.  An expert can generate this "planet" in you and nourish or murder it at his disposal.  But he who is powerful can meditate away this "alien planet" because it is in his own body, though it is artificially implanted in him by his deceptive lover.  To master this kama planet he must study the science (art) of kama Sutra, acquire sex education and practice Kama Yoga

20   The excitation of the sex center and the emotional center by the opposite sex is an art, but an expert raises the being-of-sex-and-feelings in another and causes the aroused object to become attached to him or her.  The utilization of this property for unethical motive is not the work of the conscious expert.  For the conscious expert only acts with a positive motive, although it often appears to be bad outwardly, is ethical.

The overcoming and control of this kama excitation state in the body is something of an achievement and is the task of the inner circle of man.

This strange kama passenger, once brought to life by the opposite sex, is a very impulsive and disobedient animal and he would rarely obey the commands of the master passenger for he is a rascal seeking releases.  He is often played out and jilted by the opposite sex, and as a result often defies his master.

When this kama state is aroused by the opposite sex that is vicious and exploitative, the victim soon learns how to transform it into a health tonic for the vivification of his own body.  He could then convert it into positive emotions for more progressive work, deeper thoughts and clearer consciousness instead of remaining in the negative states of jilt, hate, jealousy, revenge, foul wordings, hot temper and harmful physical actions.

Now that when the Great Master has become acquainted with the behavior of the rascal kama passenger, He can, by providing a proper inner and outer environment through His spell, bring to life this rascal to do the I-Work as have been mentioned.

And in this way, the body moves one step forward and manages also to handle the kama body more appropriately.

21   Jilted feeling or betrayed feeling is often feared by all men and women.  This respected allegorical being is the outcome of Miss love-wound.  Those who indulge in the Jilt Game are actually cheating a very sincere love process and are actually playing with fire.  The fire will burn him or her one night.